Every night we go to bed,
we have no assurance to get up alive in the next morning
but still you have plans for the coming day ;
that's Hope
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
TRUST
Trust should be like the feeling of a one year old baby
when you throw him in the air,
he laughs......because he knows you will catch him;
that's Trust
when you throw him in the air,
he laughs......because he knows you will catch him;
that's Trust
Sunday, March 29, 2009
CONFIDENCE
Once, all village people decided to pray for rain.
On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy
came with an Umbrella,
that's Confidence
On the day of prayer all people gathered and only one boy
came with an Umbrella,
that's Confidence
Saturday, March 28, 2009
My Guardian Angel!
A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If
you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill
you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man
was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was about to cross the road. Once
again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step
a car will run you over, and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed. Just then a car came careening
around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked, "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill
you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man
was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was about to cross the road. Once
again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step
a car will run you over, and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed. Just then a car came careening
around the corner, barely missing him.
The man asked, "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh, yeah?" the man asked "And where the hell were you when I got married?"
Friday, March 27, 2009
Wrong email id
No serious thoughts please ……………………………….
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room,
so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her
husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence
messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The
widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 May 2004
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They gave computers here,
and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.
I've just reached and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room,
so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without
realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her
husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence
messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted. The
widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 May 2004
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They gave computers here,
and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones.
I've just reached and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
3 Influential men and end of the world
God was fed up. In a crash of thunder he/she yanked up to Heaven three influential humans, George Bush, Russian President, and Bill Gates. "The human race is a complete disappointment," God boomed.
"You each have one week to prepare your followers for the end of the world." Then, with another crash of thunder they found themselves back on Earth.
Bush immediately called in his cabinet. "I have good news and bad news," he announced grimly.
"The good news is that there is god. The bad news is Gods really mad and plans to end the world in a week."
The Russia President announced to parliament, "Comrades, I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is that we were wrong, there is a god after all. The worse news is Gods mad and is going to end the world in a week."
Meanwhile, Bill Gates called a meeting of his top engineers. "I have good news and better news. The good news is that God considers me one of the three most influential men on Earth," he beamed.
"The better news is we don't have to fix Windows Vista."
"You each have one week to prepare your followers for the end of the world." Then, with another crash of thunder they found themselves back on Earth.
Bush immediately called in his cabinet. "I have good news and bad news," he announced grimly.
"The good news is that there is god. The bad news is Gods really mad and plans to end the world in a week."
The Russia President announced to parliament, "Comrades, I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is that we were wrong, there is a god after all. The worse news is Gods mad and is going to end the world in a week."
Meanwhile, Bill Gates called a meeting of his top engineers. "I have good news and better news. The good news is that God considers me one of the three most influential men on Earth," he beamed.
"The better news is we don't have to fix Windows Vista."
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Bush & Osama
After numerous rounds of 'We don't even know if Osama bin Laden is still alive', Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in his own hand writing to let him know he was still in the game.
Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:
370H-SSV-0773H
Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice. Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, and then to MI6.
Eventually they asked the Mossad (Israeli intelligence) for help.
Within a minute the Mossad emailed the White House with this reply:
'Tell the President he's holding the note upside down...
If your turn it around it will read :
HELLO-ASS-HOLE
Bush opened the letter and it contained a single line of coded message:
370H-SSV-0773H
Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condoleezza Rice. Condi and her aides had not a clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
No one could solve it at the FBI so it went to the CIA, and then to MI6.
Eventually they asked the Mossad (Israeli intelligence) for help.
Within a minute the Mossad emailed the White House with this reply:
'Tell the President he's holding the note upside down...
If your turn it around it will read :
HELLO-ASS-HOLE
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Love
A daughter to her mother
Daughter: Why does most of the relationship fails love?
Mother: Most relationships fail not because of the absence of love. Love is always present. It’s just that one loves too much and the other loves too many.
Daughter: Why does most of the relationship fails love?
Mother: Most relationships fail not because of the absence of love. Love is always present. It’s just that one loves too much and the other loves too many.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sentimental Love quotes
Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved!"
Girl: That's good, Give me 12 of them..!
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved!"
Girl: That's good, Give me 12 of them..!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Marriage
Ritu: Why are you upset?
Savita: I am not upset but scared
Ritu: Why?
Savita: I am getting married and my mother told me that I have to treat my husband like a God.
Ritu: You don’t have to worry for that. At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD but later the alphabets got reversed..!
Savita: I am not upset but scared
Ritu: Why?
Savita: I am getting married and my mother told me that I have to treat my husband like a God.
Ritu: You don’t have to worry for that. At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD but later the alphabets got reversed..!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Increase my salary
Employee: Boss, now I have got married..! Please increase my salary!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Laloo & Rabri
There were two lovers: Laloo & Rabri. They loved each other so much that they planned to do Suicide. Laloo jumped first.
Now it was Rabri's turn.
Rabri closed her eyes, and returned back saying Love is blind.
Laloo, in mid-air opened his parachute saying Love never Dies.
Now it was Rabri's turn.
Rabri closed her eyes, and returned back saying Love is blind.
Laloo, in mid-air opened his parachute saying Love never Dies.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
What’s HR?
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase, no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;
My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8 am to 4 pm i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours ?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral: - “ NEVER ARGUE WITH “HR” MAN TALK CAREFULLY”
BECAUSE, “HR” means “HIGH RISK
My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8 am to 4 pm i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours ?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral: - “ NEVER ARGUE WITH “HR” MAN TALK CAREFULLY”
BECAUSE, “HR” means “HIGH RISK
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The crow, fox, vadai & paati
There was a paati in a graamam. 1 day she was sutting a vadai. At d time 1 kaakaa
came and abbess the vadai. Then it sat on the 1 maram. A nari
came and said “Ur kural is so nice”. So sing a paatu for me: then the kaakaa open its vaai to sing. Dhobukadeenu vada fell down. The nari kavving that vadai and went away……..
Moral of the story:
Vada Pochaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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