Monday, July 31, 2006

BE A Smart S/W Engineer !!!!!!

A young S/W Engineer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him." The Project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn't missed him when she slapped me!"The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!" The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, "Life is good.

How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!"

thankx Ganesh

Doctor Certificate

Certified that Mr. /Miss _________________ , working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness. Due to this, he / she will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", "
Leave cannot be granted. ." etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.

In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.


Dr. Impatient

Thankx Ganesh

"Thought for the day"

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."

Moral: The reply you get depends on the question you ask.

For Example: Can I work on this project while I'm on vacation?!?

Thankx - Ganesh

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Boys will remain as boyzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A girl checked her weight - 58 Kg.

Removed Sandal - 56 Kg.

Then Jacket - 53 Kg.

Then Dupatta - 52 Kg.

Then... NO more coins with her.

A boy in queue behind her said - U carry on... I'll put the coins!!

Thankx Ganesh

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Sardar's Blunders

Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was
carrying the passport
size photograph
of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the
photo fell down from
his pocket.
He started searching for it frantically & found it
on the floor, below the
ends of a woman's saree.
He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take
a photograph"
The rest is history. He was beaten so badly that
he had to be admitted
to hospital.

He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next
to him,in a worse
Banta explained what happened to him He had gone
to a remote
village to work. He finished late and missed the
last bus.
He couldn't find any hotel. So he approached a
nearby house
and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for
the night.
The Owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters.
Sorry,I can't a
llow you to stay". He approached the next house and
asked whether
he can stay there for the night. The Owner
replied,"I have 3 grown up
I can't allow you to stay". He went
to the next
house and asked:" Do you have "grown up"
The Owner asked,"WHY??

Banta replied," I wanted to stay here for a
The rest is history.

Sardar's Cancer
Santa Singh went to his doctor after a long illness.
The doctor,
after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Santa
Singh in the eye
and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have
cancer and it can't
be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month." Santa
Singh, shocked
and saddened by the news, but of solid character,
managed to compose
himself and walk from the doctor's office into the
waiting room. There
he saw his son who had been waiting. Santa Singh
said, "Puttar, we
Surds celebrate when things are good and celebrate
when things don't
go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I
have cancer and
I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for
the pub and have
a few pints." After three or four pints, the two
were feeling a little
less somber. There were some laughs and more beers.
They were
eventually approached by some of Santa Singh's old
friends who asked
what the two were celebrating.

Santa Singh told them that the Surds celebrate the
good and the bad.
He went on to tell them that they were drinking to
his impending end.
He told his friends "I've only got few weeks to live
as I have been
diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave Santa Singh
their condolences
and they had a couple more beers.

After his friends left, Santa Singh's son leaned
over and
whispered his confusion, "Dad, I thought you said
that you were
dying from cancer? You just told your friends that
you were dying from
Santa Singh said, " I am dying from cancer,
puttar. I just don't want
any of them around your mother after I'm gone."

Two Sardars and their Horses
Then there were two sardars, Zail singh & Jarnail
Both of them bought a horse each.
"How will we know which is your & which is mine?"
asked Zail."Easy"
Jarnail. "I'll cut mine's tail,yours will be the one
with tail"

This was heard by a few boys ,they cut the other's
tail too.
Next morning the confusion continued.
"Don't worry "retorted Jarnail.
"I'll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the
one without the

The boys heard this also & cut the bell. The next
day, Zail
got frustrated & said "Okay now the last criterion,
white will be yours
& black will be mine

"Friend Forever"

Thanx Ethiraj