What’s HR?

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase, no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying;
My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8 am to 4 pm i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours ?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
Moral: - “ NEVER ARGUE WITH “HR” MAN TALK CAREFULLY”
BECAUSE, “HR” means “HIGH RISK

Want to recruit the right person for the right job?

Put about 100 bricks in some
Particular order in a closed
Room with an
Open window.


Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.


Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze
The situation.


If they are counting the
Bricks.
Put them in the accounts
Department.


If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing .


If they have messed up the
Whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering .


If they are arranging the
Bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.


If they are throwing the
Bricks at each other.
Put them in operations ..


If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.



If they have broken the bricks
Into pieces.
Put them in information
Technology.


If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.


If they say they have tried
Different combinations, yet
Not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.


If they have already left for
The day.
Put them in marketing.


If they are staring out of the
Window.
Put them on strategic
Planning.

And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each
Other and not a single brick
Has been
Moved.
Congratulate them and
put them
In top management.