Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Laws Which Newton Forgot to State

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
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LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
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LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
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LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
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LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
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LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
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LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
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THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
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LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
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Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
***
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
***
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR : After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
***
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
***
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
***
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
***
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
***
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
***
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
***

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