Report card

Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He just wanted to scare his parents."

Unbreakable mirror

Kuttappan is looking reluctant whether to buy the hand mirror in a shop.

Shop keeper: This is a wonderful mirror saab!

Kuttappan: How!

Shop keeper: If you drop this mirror from 100 ft height it won’t break until it reaches 99 feet.

Kuttappan: Hey, Give this to me immediately.

Since light travels faster than sound,

people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Practice

Practice makes perfect.....

But nobody's perfect......

so why practice?

Destroy subramine

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?

Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....

Sardar

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.

Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Go and water the plants

Sardar to his servant : Go and water the plants.

Servant : it’s already raining.

Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

Salary expected ?

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".

After much thought he wrote: Yes!

Dedicated photographer

Modern PANCHATANTRA !!!

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those
programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.

The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!".

So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Moral of the Story: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, update first , it's better keep your mouth shut and let people think you don't know than to open your mouth and say something.

Mistake

If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a NEW STYLE

...


If a driver makes a mistake,
It is a NEW PATH

...

If a engineer makes a mistake,
It is a NEW VENTURE

...

If parents makes a mistake,
It is a NEW GENERATION

...

If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a NEW LAW

...

If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a NEW INVENTION

...

If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a NEW FASHION

...

If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a NEW THEORY

...

If our boss makes a mistake,
It is a NEW IDEA

...

If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a "MISTAKE"

weather forecast

Different perspective

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the
express purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
Appreciate every single thing you have!
Pass this on to friends and acquaintances and help them refresh their perspective and appreciation.

Three Feelings

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,

Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and

Panic is when both are pregnant.

WIFE

Husband asks , "Do you know the meaning of WIFE? "

"Without Information Fighting Everytime"

Wife replies," No, It means ,

"With Idiot For Ever !!!"