Sardar's girlfriend

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

Chinese Call center

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?

Operator: Yes, you can speak to me..

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan .. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone ! But what's this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for his!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree ..

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!

Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..

Caller: Oh .....God.......

Bubble in the bathtub

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the
First day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce
Themselves with name and hobby.

She said, "Let's start with the boys first." Boys start giving their
intro...

First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the
Bathtub."

Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting. Well, Ok. In
fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is
Essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next."

Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of Supporting a friend. Ok next."

Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next."

This continues... and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is To see bubble in the bathtub."

Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please."

First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."

Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."

Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."

Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl; Yes you..."

Most beautiful girl of the class:

"Mam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day."

If you think you can - you can

On his first day, as President, Abraham Lincoln entered to give his inaugural address, just in the middle, one man stood up. He was a rich aristocrat. He said, "Mr.Lincoln, you should not forget that your father used to make shoes for my family". And the whole Senate laughed; they thought they had made a fool of Abraham Lincoln.

But Lincoln – and that type of people are made of totally different mettle, looked at the man and said, "Sir, I know that my father used to make shoes for your family, and there will be many others here ……..because the way he made shoes: nobody else can. He was a creator. His shoes were not just shoes, he poured his whole soul into it. I want to ask you, have you any complaint? Because I know how to make shoes myself; if you have any complaint I can make another pair of shoes. But as far as I know, nobody has ever complained about my father's shoes. He was a genius, a creator and I am proud of my father".

The entire Senate was struck dumb. They could not understand what kind of man Abraham Lincoln was. He had made shoe making an art, a creativity. And he was proud because his father did the job so well that not even a single complaint had ever been heard.


Moral:

It does not matter what you do. What matters is how you do it – of your own accord, with your own vision, with your own love. Then what ever you touch becomes gold.

"If you think you can - you can !
If you think you can not - you can not !
And either way........you are right !"

Oldie

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

Wife

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

Wife

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.

'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

Elderly couple

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'

The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'

The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'

'Do you mean a rose?'

'Yes, that's the one', replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

Golden years

What the golden years in our life can be. A preview..................!

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor arranged for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'

The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'

Forget your ego

It's another morning........ Again I have to go to office.

Ohh, this is me... I shouted having a glance on my snap in today's news paper. But what the HELL it is doing in the death column??

Strange...

One sec... Let me think, last night when I was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest, but I don't remember anything after that, I think I had a sound sleep.

Its morning now, ohh..... It's already 10:00 AM, where is my coffee? I will be late for office and my boss will get a chance to irritate me.

Where is everyone...??? I screamed.

"I think there is a crowed outside my room, let me check." I said to myself.

So many people..... Not all of them crying... But why some of them crying...

WHAT IS THIS??? I m laying there on the floor...

"I AM HERE" ... I shouted!!! No one listen.
"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" ... I screamed once again!!! No one is interested in me.
They all were looking me on the bed.

I went back to my bed room.

"Am I dead??" I asked myself.

Where is my wife, my children, my mom-DAD, my friends?

I found them in the next room, all of them were crying... still trying to console each other.

My wife was crying... she was really looking sad. My little kid was not sure what happened, but he was crying just coz his mom was sad.

How can I go without saying my kid that I really love him, I really do care of him. ??
How can I go without saying my wife that she is really most beautiful and most caring wife in this world..?? How can I go without saying my parents that I m ... just because of u ??

How can I go without telling my friends that without them perhaps I have done most of the wrong things in my life... thanks for being there always when I need them... and sorry for not being there when they really need me..

I can see a person standing in the corner and trying to hide his tears...
Ohh... he was once my best friend, but a small misunderstanding made us part, and we both have strong enough ego to keep us disconnect.

I went there.. And offered him my hand, "Dear friend... I just want to say sorry for everything, we r still best friend, please forgive me."

No response from other side, what the hell?? He is still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even then!!! I really don't care for such people.

But one sec.... it seems he is not able to see me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.
My goodness... AM I REALLY DEAD???

I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like crying...

"OHH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE DAYS..."
I just wasn't to make my wife, my parents; my friends realize that how much I love them.

My wife entered in the room, she looks beautiful.
"YOU R BEAUTIFUL" I shouted. She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard these words coz I never said this to her.

"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more time plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
I cried...

One more chance please... to hug my child, to make my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud on me at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends for everything I have not given to them, and thanks for still being in my life....

Then I looked up and cried!!!!

I shouted....

"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"

"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"

I was sleeping.... Ohh that was just a dream....

My wife was there... she can hear me... This is the happiest moment of my life...
I hugged her and whispered.... "U R THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE IN THIS UNIVERSE.... I REALLY LOVE U DEAR"

I can't understand the reason of the smile on her face with some tears in her eyes, still I m happy....

"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND? CHANCE."

So, Now it's not late... Forget your egos, past..., and express your love to others.......... Be friendly............... keep smiling and be happy for ever.......

Politician

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'

Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut , and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.

Join the queue

Join the queue
A man was leaving a cafe when he noticed an unusual funeral. A funeral Coffin was followed by a second one. Behind the second coffin was a Solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line.

The man couldn't stand his curiosity. He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry to disturb you, But I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is it?"

The man replied, "That first coffin is for my wife."
What happened to her?"
"My dog attacked and killed her."

"Well, who is in the second coffin?"

"My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also."

A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.

Then the First one asks in excitement, "Can I borrow the dog?

The man replied, "Join the queue…………………………"

The first of April

"The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year."
~By Mark Twain~

"The first of April, some do say,
Is set apart for All Fools' Day.
But why the people call it so,
Nor I, nor they themselves do know.
But on this day are people sent
On purpose for pure merriment."
~Poor Robin's Almanac (1790)~

Q: Why are people so tired on April 1st?
A: Because they just finished a 31-day March :-)