PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL TERMS AND THEIR REAL MEANINGS

LOYAL................................Can't get a job anywhere else
GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS............Able to bullshit
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS............Spends lots of time on phone
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE.....................Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED.........Made no major blunders yet
ACTIVE SOCIALLY......................Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY............Spouse drinks, too
CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH.............Still one step ahead of the law
QUICK THINKING.......................Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER......................Won't make a decision
PLANS FOR ADVANCEMENT................Buys drinks for all the boys
AGGRESSIVE...........................Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS.........Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL............Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL.......A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES.............Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT.........Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR.................Knows a lot of dirty jokes
CAREER MINDED........................Back Stabber
OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION...Gets to work on time
RELAXED ATTITUDE.....................Sleeps at desk
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY...............Too ugly to get a date
INDEPENDENT WORKER...................Nobody knows what he/she does