MATH LOGIC

How did little jhonny know that he was gonna fail whether he studies or not????????

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he derived the following math logic for it

check it out!!!!!!!!

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Synonyms

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by

feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the

Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody

believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and

everybody disagrees later on.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic : Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc .: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

SmalL story

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the
side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt.

The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban
sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out
and asks the Shepherd: If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay."

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax,
enters a NASA Webster, scans the Ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer.

He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep
here."

The shepherd cheers,"that's correct, you can have your sheep."

The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche.

The shepherd looks at him and asks:

"If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"

The young man answers, "Yes, why not".

The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant ".

How did you know?" asks the young man.

"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without
being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business...

Now can I have my DOG back?"

Raffling a dead donkey

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night."

Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back." The farmer
said: "Can’t do that. I went and spent it already."

Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey."

The farmer asked: "What ya goanna do with him?"

Kenny: "Im going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot - to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)

Farmer: "You cant raffle off a dead donkey!"

Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just wont tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998.00."

Farmer: "Didn’t anyone complain?"

Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron

mission iMMMMMpossible

mission iMMMMpossible

World without Engineers ....

Computer Engineers
Aeronautical Engineers

Electronics Engineers

Mechanical Engineers
Civil Engineers

Communication Engineers

mission IMMMpossible

PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL TERMS AND THEIR REAL MEANINGS

LOYAL................................Can't get a job anywhere else
GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS............Able to bullshit
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS............Spends lots of time on phone
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE.....................Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED.........Made no major blunders yet
ACTIVE SOCIALLY......................Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY............Spouse drinks, too
CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH.............Still one step ahead of the law
QUICK THINKING.......................Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER......................Won't make a decision
PLANS FOR ADVANCEMENT................Buys drinks for all the boys
AGGRESSIVE...........................Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS.........Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL............Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL.......A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES.............Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT.........Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR.................Knows a lot of dirty jokes
CAREER MINDED........................Back Stabber
OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION...Gets to work on time
RELAXED ATTITUDE.....................Sleeps at desk
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY...............Too ugly to get a date
INDEPENDENT WORKER...................Nobody knows what he/she does

mission IMMpossible

mission IMpossible

A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?

Sardar: It was ok but i couldn’t answer past tense of THINK. I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.