Tuesday, January 16, 2007
You & Boss
A nice mail i got days back on boss & subordinate.
Just have a read and enjoy..
When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to
be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
you're an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an
interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's
overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets
Just have a read and enjoy..
When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to
be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
you're an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an
interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's
overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets
Malayalam paranjouooo
Laughter Via Kerala....;-)....i might just get killed there r so many mallu friends on the list....
1) Name the wonly part of the werld, where Malayalis don't werk hard?
Kerala...!!!
2) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.
3) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff.
4) Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.
5) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
6) Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome ?
Because he wanted to hear pope music.
7) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.
8) Why did his wife divorce him?
Because he was louwing another woman.
9) Who found out that?
His aandy.
10) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
11) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto.
Who is Malayali's fyamousu eactor and aectress?
Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.
at least you should send this to:
10 Malayalis & you will receive cecenut oil
20 Malayalis and you will receive benena chips
40 Malayalis you will receive appams
100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the lungi factory with additional incentive of a whole month's supply of cecenut oil and benena chips free.
1) Name the wonly part of the werld, where Malayalis don't werk hard?
Kerala...!!!
2) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.
3) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff.
4) Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.
5) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.
6) Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome ?
Because he wanted to hear pope music.
7) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.
8) Why did his wife divorce him?
Because he was louwing another woman.
9) Who found out that?
His aandy.
10) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.
11) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto.
Who is Malayali's fyamousu eactor and aectress?
Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.
at least you should send this to:
10 Malayalis & you will receive cecenut oil
20 Malayalis and you will receive benena chips
40 Malayalis you will receive appams
100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the lungi factory with additional incentive of a whole month's supply of cecenut oil and benena chips free.
Sardarjeee
Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office
---
A sardar saw a beautiful girl.
he went and kissed her.
GIRL: "stupid,what are you doin...?"
Sardar: " B.Com Final Year....
---
Santa was driving car zigzag on the road.
Traffic inspector stopped him.
Santa: Sir, I am learning the car.
Inspector: without instructor?
Santa: Sir, this is a correspondence course.
---
Once a school teacher told kids to write an essay on cricket match.
Everybody was busy writing except santa, he wrote "Match cancelled due to rain".
---
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa does not turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the bell, but no one comes out.
---
A man told santa: Banta is kissing your wife.
Santa hurriedly rushed to home, within half hour came back angrily and slapped the man and said: He is not Banta.
Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office
---
A sardar saw a beautiful girl.
he went and kissed her.
GIRL: "stupid,what are you doin...?"
Sardar: " B.Com Final Year....
---
Santa was driving car zigzag on the road.
Traffic inspector stopped him.
Santa: Sir, I am learning the car.
Inspector: without instructor?
Santa: Sir, this is a correspondence course.
---
Once a school teacher told kids to write an essay on cricket match.
Everybody was busy writing except santa, he wrote "Match cancelled due to rain".
---
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa does not turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I am coming daily from 4 days, I press the bell, but no one comes out.
---
A man told santa: Banta is kissing your wife.
Santa hurriedly rushed to home, within half hour came back angrily and slapped the man and said: He is not Banta.
LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to
move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged
one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your
nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive
last.
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss
will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged
one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your
nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
the reach.
THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive
last.
LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss
will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
A nice reply
It was a hot meeting at the office conference hall. All the people from the department had been called. The VP was looking much tensed.
The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other. Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man.
To this the sweet manager replied "Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything." Everyone looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. We looked at the manager and thought "What an Awesome Reply man!"
The mood was so bad. My friend asked me -"Hey, what is this meeting all about? I told - May be they will decide on when to have the next meeting. People around smiled at each other. Then the VP started talking. It was about the recent attrition rate that was so high. Around 10 people had put in their papers. All experienced guys. It was quarter end and so work was huge. If we do not complete the work on time, we need to be paying heavy penalty said the VP. The VP turned to the manager and told "Hey - take how much ever resources you want. Recruit or take them from other departments. But complete the work in another 25 days. Take people and complete it man.
To this the sweet manager replied "Sir! Give me one wife and nine months and I shall show you results. Don't give me nine wives and one month. I cannot do anything." Everyone looked at him blank. The VP was not prepared for this answer. We looked at the manager and thought "What an Awesome Reply man!"
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