SUV for sale - Fool Proof Technology

Technology improvement

Alibaba & 30 Thieves

At first, it was Alibaba & 40 Thieves
now
it is Alibaba & 30 Thieves


WHY?

Poocho Kyon ?.......









Recession Boss!!!Alibaba had removed 10 thieves from his group.Cost Cutting...

Doctor's Medical Certificate

Doctor Certified

I Certified that Mr. /Miss ________________ _ , working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness.

Due to this, he/she will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week.

Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems.

The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", " Leave cannot be granted. ." etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.

In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.


Sd/- Dr. Impatient

Thattuvams

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

Moral

Enjoy !

Once a Junior School teacher asked her students to bring some potatoes in a plastic bag to school. Each potato will be given a name of the person whom that child hates. Like this, the number of potatoes will be equal to the number of persons they hate. On a decided day the children brought their potatoes well addressed. Some had two, some had three and some had even five potatoes. The teacher said they have to carry these potatoes with them everywhere they go for a week.. As the days passed the children started to complain about the spoiled smell that started coming from these potatoes. Also some students who had many potatoes complained that it was very heavy to carry them all around. The children got rid of this assignment after a week, when it got over.


The teacher asked, "How did you feel in this one week?" The children discussed their problems about the smell and weight. Then the teacher said, "This situation is very similar to what you carry in your heart when you don't like some people. This hatred makes your heart unhealthy and you carry that hatred in your heart everywhere you go. If you can not bear the smell of spoiled potatoes for a week, imagine the impact of this hatred that you carry through out your life, on your heart?"

MORALE:

* OUR HEART IS A BEAUTIFUL GARDEN THAT NEEDS A REGULAR CLEANING OF UNWANTED WEEDS.

* FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE NOT BEHAVED WITH YOU AS EXPECTED AND FORGET THE BAD THINGS. THIS ALSO MAKES ROOM AVAILABLE FOR STORING GOOD THINGS.

Dark night. In a car

This happened about a month ago near Sheikalmudi.

A guy was driving from Kovai to Sheikalmudi and decided to drive slow as he wants to see the scenery. The inevitable happens and when he reaches the ghats his car breaks down - he's stranded miles from nowhere.

Having no choice he starts walking on the side of the road, hoping to get a lift to the nearest town. It's dark and raining. And pretty soon he's wet and shivering. The night rolls on and no car goes by, the rain is so heavy he can hardly see a few feet ahead of him.

Suddenly he sees a car coming towards him. It slows and then stops next to him - without thinking the guy opens the door and jumps in.

Seated in the back, he leans forward to thank the person who had saved him - when he realizes there is nobody behind the wheel!!!

Even though there's no one in the front seat and no sound of any engine, the car starts moving slowly. The guy looks at the road ahead and sees a curve coming.

Scared almost to death he starts to pray, begging the Lord for his life. He hasn't come out of shock, when just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel!

The car makes the curve safely and continues on the road to the next bend. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they are before a curve and moves the steering wheel just enough to get the car around each bend.

Finally, the guy sees lights ahead. Gathering his courage he wrenches open the door of the silent, slowly moving car, scrambles out and runs as hard as he can towards the lights. It's a small village called Sholayar dam.

He stumbles into a dhaba, and asks for a drink, and breaks down. Then he starts talking about the horrible experience he's just been through.

There is dead silence in the dhaba when he stops talking
......

..
..

..


..

...
...

......
and that's when Santa and Banta Singh walk into the dhaba. Santa points and says 'Look Banta - that's the weird guy who got into our car when we were pushing it '

Born a Sikh, raised a Sikh, now a Catholic

Each Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbors were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden
from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest. The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said,
"You were born a Sikh,
and
raised a Sikh,
but now,
you are a Catholic."

Santa's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived. The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as
he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted:
"Oye, you waz born a chicken,
and you waz born a lamb,
you waz raised a chicken,
and
you waz Raised a lamb but now yara(dear), you are a potato and tomato!"

Getting up very early in the morning

One day a fisherman got up very early in the morning.

There was not enough sunlight to get into the sea.

He saw a pack of stones to pass time.

He started throwing the stone into the sea.

While having the last stone in the hand,
the sun came up then he saw that the stone was a diamond.

He felt for his misfortune of throwing all of them into the sea...


Moral of the story: Below
*********************

Do not get up early in the morning...

Tonglish

Nama adicha athu mottai, Athuva vilundha athu sottai!

Thannikulla kappal pona jolly... Kappalkulla thanni pona gali...

Odambula ethanai cell irundhalum athula 'simcard' poda mudiyathu..
Calenderla naama enna thethi kizhichomngarathu mukkiyam illa.
Kizhicha thethiyila naama ennatha kizhichomngarathu than mukkiyam.

Pallu valina palla pudungalaam aana kannu vali na kanna pudungamudiyuma...
:)

Running racela kaal evalavu vegama odinaalum, ! Price kaikuthaan
kedaikkum!!

ULAGAM THERIYAAMA VALRRAVAN VEGULY
CRICKET THERIYAAMA VILAYADURAVAN GANGULY

Sodava fridgela vacha cooling soda aagum,
Athukkaaga atha washing machinela vacha washing soda aagumaa!!

lunch bag le lunch eduthuttu pogalam...
aana school bagle school eduthuttu poga mudiyathu..

South India-la Narthangai kidaikkum.
Aaana, North India-la Southangai kidaikuma?!
Today's punch:
Thanneera Thanninnu sollalaam
Panneera panninnu solla mudiyuma??

Wishing well

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled,

10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE

Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep..

Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

Wife dead

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?

Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Man, The Master of Women

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

How to avoid swine flu at your office?