God is watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note,
and posted on the apple tray.

'Take only ONE. God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of  the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note,  'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

Circulation of blood

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make them understand, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
 

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
 

Photograph

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

Hairs are white

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

God

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

Whales

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.'

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him.'

Typewriter / handwritten note...

A Joke ! ;-) A divorce scene was getting rough and hot between husband and wife
before the judge.

Wife argued fiercely, "Your honor I kept child in this womb for nine
long months, brought baby out with pain and suffering, then whose baby
it is?"

The judge looks at fuming husband and asked, "What do you have to say hubby?"

The husband thundered, "Your honor, if I insert a dollar in cola
vending machine's hole and a can of cola drops, whose cola is it?
Machine's or mine?

Wife would not accept this and replied, "Sir Judge, it was my bottle
of milk and if some one injected his couple drops of yogurt maker mix
then whose yogurt it is? Big milk-maker's or a small drop pusher's?

Husband replied, "Yes Judge but listen to me, when I pushed a letter
in typewriter, jumped and danced hard pressing all the excitable keys
to print the letter, then whose letter it is? Mine or typewriter's?

Judge was loosing his brain and yelled, "You knuckle-head instead of
using typewriter if you had used your handwritten note, none of these
would have happened."