Microsoft crazy facts
This is something pretty cool and neat...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!
Try it out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
and then press ENTER
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
No dirty mind please
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students.
The teacher asked, 'Boy, what is your problem?'
Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!'
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what
the situation was.
The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy: '9'.
Principal! : 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy: '36'.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, 'I think Boy.
can go to the third-grade. '
Ms Neelam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions. Can I
ask him?'
The principal and Boy, both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy:, after a moment 'Legs.'
Ms Nee lam:
'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy: 'Pockets.'
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Boy. was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle wi th me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala
Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it
u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
'Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!'
her students.
The teacher asked, 'Boy, what is your problem?'
Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!'
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what
the situation was.
The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'
Boy: '9'.
Principal! : 'What is 6 x 6?'
Boy: '36'.
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, 'I think Boy.
can go to the third-grade. '
Ms Neelam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions. Can I
ask him?'
The principal and Boy, both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy:, after a moment 'Legs.'
Ms Nee lam:
'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'
Boy: 'Pockets.'
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Boy. was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle wi th me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala
Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it
u have to use ur hand.
Boy: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?
Boy: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
'Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!'
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Mobile phone with detachable camera
The talk of the tech world is the new generation mobile phone which has just hit the market.
On the technology front this instrument is user friendly. On the user side the camera can be detached from the mobile phone.
With the usual camera mobiles when you are going to high security offices you will be forced to leave your precious communication equipment at the security and your near and dear ones calling you will become frustrated.
This new mobile solves this problem. Just detach the camera from the instrument and retain your communication equipment while visiting high security / photography prohibited places.
Willing to see the new generation mobile.
Just scroll down.
!
!!
!!!
Ha Ha Ha
On the technology front this instrument is user friendly. On the user side the camera can be detached from the mobile phone.
With the usual camera mobiles when you are going to high security offices you will be forced to leave your precious communication equipment at the security and your near and dear ones calling you will become frustrated.
This new mobile solves this problem. Just detach the camera from the instrument and retain your communication equipment while visiting high security / photography prohibited places.
Willing to see the new generation mobile.
Just scroll down.
!
!!
!!!
Ha Ha Ha
Friday, October 19, 2007
Importance of period
Teacher: Do you know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Secret of success
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Monday, October 15, 2007
How to become rich?
Kuttappan’s son: Daddy, We will become rich from tomorrow onwards.
Kuttappan: How ?
Son: Tomorrow my Maths teacher will teach us how to convert Paisa into Rupee.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Car driver
Boss : Am giving you job as a driver. Starting salary 2000 Bucks, is it OK
Driver : Sir, you are really great! Starting salary is o.k....... But ? How much is Driving salary...?
Keyboard alphabets
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
Learn
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Last wish
Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Oh u r single?
Sardar at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker - single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch - single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh - Married"
Man on his right says "Johny Walker - single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch - single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh - Married"
Poetic Sardar
Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince : "Pass the wine; you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar : "pass the custard; you bastard".
Monday, October 08, 2007
Report card
Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He just wanted to scare his parents."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He just wanted to scare his parents."
Unbreakable mirror
Kuttappan is looking reluctant whether to buy the hand mirror in a shop.
Shop keeper: This is a wonderful mirror saab!
Kuttappan: How!
Shop keeper: If you drop this mirror from 100 ft height it won’t break until it reaches 99 feet.
Kuttappan: Hey, Give this to me immediately.
Shop keeper: This is a wonderful mirror saab!
Kuttappan: How!
Shop keeper: If you drop this mirror from 100 ft height it won’t break until it reaches 99 feet.
Kuttappan: Hey, Give this to me immediately.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Destroy subramine
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....
Sardar
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Go and water the plants
Sardar to his servant : Go and water the plants.
Servant : it’s already raining.
Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go.
Servant : it’s already raining.
Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go.
Salary expected ?
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote: Yes!
After much thought he wrote: Yes!
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
Modern PANCHATANTRA !!!
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those
programs in the Sunday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.
The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!".
So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!
Moral of the Story: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, update first , it's better keep your mouth shut and let people think you don't know than to open your mouth and say something.
programs in the Sunday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.
The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!".
So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!
Moral of the Story: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, update first , it's better keep your mouth shut and let people think you don't know than to open your mouth and say something.
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