Five surgeons

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

 

The first surgeon, from New York , says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

 

The second, from Chicago , responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

   

The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order"

 

 The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

 

  But the fifth surgeon, from Washington , DC shut them all up when he Observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.

There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable

90-year-old man

A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkup. The doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"I've never been better," the old man replied. "I've got an eighteen-year-old bride who's pregnant & delivered a child. What is your opinion about that, Doc?" the old man asked.

The doctor thought for a moment, then said, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who is a hunter. He never misses a season for hunting. But, one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. The doctor continued, "So he's walking in the woods near a creek, and suddenly he spots a lion in some brush in front of him. He raises up his umbrella, points it at the lion and squeezes the handle.

BAM! The lion drops dead in front of him."

"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief. Someone else must have shot that lion."

"Exactly"... Said the Doc.

Doctor's Medical Certificate

Doctor Certified

I certify that Mr. /Miss ________________ _ , working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness.


Due to this, he/she will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week.

Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems.


The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.


It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", " Leave cannot be granted. ." etc.

which can directly lead to heart strokes.


In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.


Sd/- Dr. Impatient

Doctor's Medical Certificate

Doctor Certified

I Certified that Mr. /Miss ________________ _ , working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness.

Due to this, he/she will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week.

Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems.

The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", " Leave cannot be granted. ." etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.

In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.


Sd/- Dr. Impatient

MBBS & Sardar

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.

He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch

&

Finally Said: "Oye, Torch is okay"

Absent mind

An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.

'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'

'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.

'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

Psychiatrist test

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

Last wish

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?

Patient : Yes. A good doctor.