Recruitment for "Chairman of Microsoft Europe"

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room.

One candidate is our Ramasamy.

Bill Gates: Thank you for coming. Those who do not know JAVA may leave.

2000 people leave the room.

Ramasamy says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA, but I nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try !'

Bill Gates: Candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people may leave.

Another 2000 people leave the room.

Ramasamy says to 'I never managed anybody by myself, but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me ?' So he stays.

Bill Gates: Candidates who do not have management diplomas may leave.

Then, 500 people leave the room.

Ramasamy says to himself, 'I left school at 15, but what have I got to lose ?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo-Croat to leave.

Now, 498 people leave the room.

Ramasamy says to himself, 'I do not speak one word of Serbo-Croat but what do I have to lose ?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate; Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, our Ramasamy turns to the other candidate and says 'endha ooru?'

The other candidate answers… 'Madurai pakkam'


"vazhga tamil"

Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates

Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft

You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours..

3 Influential men and end of the world

God was fed up. In a crash of thunder he/she yanked up to Heaven three influential humans, George Bush, Russian President, and Bill Gates. "The human race is a complete disappointment," God boomed.

"You each have one week to prepare your followers for the end of the world." Then, with another crash of thunder they found themselves back on Earth.

Bush immediately called in his cabinet. "I have good news and bad news," he announced grimly.

"The good news is that there is god. The bad news is Gods really mad and plans to end the world in a week."

The Russia President announced to parliament, "Comrades, I have bad news and worse news. The bad news is that we were wrong, there is a god after all. The worse news is Gods mad and is going to end the world in a week."

Meanwhile, Bill Gates called a meeting of his top engineers. "I have good news and better news. The good news is that God considers me one of the three most influential men on Earth," he beamed.

"The better news is we don't have to fix Windows Vista."

Should Mr.Gates sell Windows?

Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

Sub: Problems with my new computer

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your kind notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

Microsoft crazy facts

Microsoft crazy facts

This is something pretty cool and neat...and unbelievable...


At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!

Try it out yourself...

Open Microsoft Word and type

=rand (200, 99)

and then press ENTER