Dream

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?

Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

How old is your father ?

Teacher : How old is ur father.

Sunny : As old as I am.

Teacher : How is it possible?

Sunny : He became father only after I was born.

Lecture on Sun.

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.

Raju : No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.

Teacher : Why?

Raju : My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

Gandhiji's hard work

Teacher : Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student : A holiday

Full form of Maths

Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students

1873

Teacher : What happened in 1869?
Student : Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher : What happened in 1873?
Student : Gandhiji was four years old.

What is your name?

Teacher: "What is your name?".
Student: "Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher: "When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."
Student: "My name is Sunlight.

Smart boy

Maths Teacher : If you have 12 chocolates
and
you give 5 to priya ,
3 to Anitha
and
4 to kavitha
then what will u get????
.
.

.
.

.
.
.




Student : 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!

No dirty mind please

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students.
The teacher asked, 'Boy, what is your problem?'



Boy answered, 'I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!'


Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what
the situation was.



The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained
to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Boy: '9'.

Principal! : 'What is 6 x 6?'

Boy: '36'.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, 'I think Boy.
can go to the third-grade. '

Ms Neelam says to the principal, 'I have some of my own questions. Can I
ask him?'

The principal and Boy, both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Boy:, after a moment 'Legs.'

Ms Nee lam:

'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

Boy: 'Pockets.'

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Boy. was taking charge.

Boy: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer...

Boy: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?

Boy: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.

Boy: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle wi th me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.

The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala
Vodka peg.

Boy: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good.

Boy: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Boy: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?

Boy: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it
u have to use ur hand.

Boy: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?

Boy: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?

Boy: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

'Send this Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself!'

Importance of period

Teacher: Do you know the importance of period?

Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

New lady teacher

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.

She said, "Let's start with the boys first."


The boys started giving their intro...

First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting. Well, Ok. In fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next."

Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next."

Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Teacher: "Guys are you sincere. Ok next."

This continues...
and the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."

Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please."

First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."

Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."

Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."

Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl; Yes you..."

Most beautiful girl of the class:

"Mam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take bath three times a day."