Chiropractor >> << Lawyer

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck.

The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"

Puzzzle

One day Sita celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Ram, celebrated his birthday.

Why?

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At the time she went into labor, the mother of the twins was traveling by boat. The older twin, Ram, was born first early on March 1st. The boat then crossed a time zone and Sita, the younger twin, was born on February the 28th. Therefore, the younger twin celebrates her birthday two days before her older brother.

The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, “These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!”

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

My Father grows beans," said one student.

"My father cooks beans," said another.

Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans."

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.

Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

Puzzle

A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, jumper, gloves and balaclava. He is walking down a black street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off too but some how manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

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It was day time.

20 golden rules for any office:

1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.

2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.

3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.

4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down".
The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

5. If you are good, you will get all the work.
If you are really good, you will get out of it.

6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.

8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit.
No use being a damn fool about it.

12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

13. Following the rules will not get the job done.

14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".

16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.

18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.


Bye and Take Care,
ninA

Mobile phone tracking system..

This is amazing! A GPS site where you can type a mobile phone number and it finds exactly where the location is ( given the mobile is switched on).

Try it out - it's pretty accurate.

Put in the first 4 digits in the first fields, and the remaining digits in the other field.

Click on below link

http://www.sat-gps-locate.com

Pulli Raja is not sleeping with his wife! these days because somebody had told him that it is wrong to sleep with married women.

College day's kadalai ?

Remember the college day's kadalai???—

He calls She

She: Hello!

He: What the doing?

She: Ippo dhaan saaptu mudichen. Sir enna pannitu irukaaru?

He: Ippo dhaan 'Suttum vizhi sudare' paatu paathen Sun Music la

She: Nalla paatu.

(And then she hums the line 'mazhai azhagha veyil azhagha')

He: hey!!!!Nee ivlo nalla paaduviya

She: *giggles*

He: Hey. Innoru vaati paadaen

She: En room mates ellam thoongita. Ava bayandhuduva

He: Come on! Please!

She: Poada. I don't sing that well

He: It was really sweet. Please paaden

She: Enakku odd aa irukku da

He: Idhula ennama irukku. Nalla paadare.

She: Nee dhaan sollanum

He: Ippo paaduviya maatiya?

She: yaenda paduththare

He: Sigh! Ok

She: I don't have that great voice

He: hmmmm

She: Seri. Ivlo kaekkare. Unakaaga ore oru stanza paadaren

He: Great!!!!

She: Endha paatu paadatum?

He: Hmmmm. 'un perai sonnale' from dum dum dum?

She: Nice song. But enakku lyrics gnabagam illai

He: Chinna chinna aasai?

She: Illai indha paate paadaren

He: Cool

(She clears her throat, hums a line and then)

She: Illai vendaam. Am feeling very shy!

He: Paadu she paadu. Un isai endra inba vellathil neendha odoadi vandha

ennai yemtradhe she. Paadu

She: Galatta panre paathiya

He: No no. Nee shy aa feel panre illaiya. Trying to make u cool

She: Hmmm

He: please paadaen

She: naaLaikku paadatumaaa?

He: Seri maa. Unakku eppadi thonaradho appadiye pannu

She: Hmmm

He: Good night

She: Good night

After a while She calls He

She: Thoonigitya

He: Illai ma. Match paathundu irundhen

She: Seri. Nee match paaru

He: Hey. Its ok. Pazhaya match dhaan.

She: Illai. Did u feel bad I didn't sing?

(Since it is a tricky question, He thinks for a while)

He: Bad appadinu solla maaten. But I want you to be comfortable first.

naaLaikku paadaren sonne illa. So me waiting

She sings 1 stanza from the song

He: Wow. Too good!

She: Poarum. I know how kevalam my voice is

He: Hey you really sing well.

She: Poada...Nee sollanume appadinu solre

He: Cha! Cha! Un voice nalla illaati naan ivlo kaekkave maaten

She: Hmmmm

He: Nee ivLo nalla paaduve enakku theriyaadhu

She: Hmmm! Seri good night

He: Good night!

She: Take care

He: You too

She: Nejamaave en voice nalla irundadhaa

He: Nejamma! Ofcourse.

She: Nee poi solre

He: Not at all. You sing very well

She: Hmmm. Ennamo solre. Good night.

He: Good Night!!

So after successfully wishing she 'good night' for the umpteenth time,

our He hangs up the phone

Year 2019 - Cricket World Cup news:

India failed to defeat Afghanistan in the world cup qualifier in the Asia -Pacific zone


Coach Sehwag said that he is not worried bcoz he has backing of selectors, captain and board....and that they had won a close match against Papua new guinea just 2 yrs ago.


Rahul Dravid, the coach of New Zealand team said that Sachin should now consider retiring gracefully and let his son take over the captaincy.


Mahender Singh Dhoni broke Ajit Agarkar's record of most number of conecutive ducks in twenty 20


Saurav Ganguly, the coach of England feels that the boys need to control their emotions on the field.


The current leading man from Bollywood, Bret Lee advices MS Dhoni to take upacting as well.


Minnows Pakistan beat Ireland in a close match...and thus they avanged their defeat in the 2007 WC against the then Minnows Ireland.


Inzamam Ul Haq, who was the captain of the losing team and now the present coach said in a press interview that
"Boys plays well...they try hard...Inshallah we win the World Cup"


The police arrested 8 people for voilence after England and NZ match...
Investigations revealed that these people were members of Dravid and Ganguly fan communities on Orkut which have 623241516 and 126542 members respectively.


The Indian cricket board led by president Rahul Gandhi has called for an emergency meeting to discuss future course of action ..former players like Yuvraj Singh, Md Kaif, WS Laxman and Kumble have been invited... coach Sehwag and Captain Tendulkar will present a report...


WS Laxman today created a new controversy by saying that he expected a written apology from Rahul Gandhi for including him in the category of former players....he said that he has improved his fielding and fitness and wants to play 2023 WC in Brazil

Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!.

Bush: Wow! I c .. How many ?

Manmohan Singh: 25 OBC, 25 SC, 20 ST, 5 Handicapped, 5 Sports Persons, 5 Terrorist Affected, 5 Kashmiri Migrants, 9 Politicians & if possible 1 Astronaut

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a young lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

Pulli Raja at an Art Gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!