Sunday, January 27, 2008

Friday, January 25, 2008

Want to recruit the right person for the right job?

Put about 100 bricks in some
Particular order in a closed
Room with an
Open window.


Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
The room and close the door.


Leave them alone and come back
After 6 hours and then analyze
The situation.


If they are counting the
Bricks.
Put them in the accounts
Department.


If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing .


If they have messed up the
Whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering .


If they are arranging the
Bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.


If they are throwing the
Bricks at each other.
Put them in operations ..


If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.



If they have broken the bricks
Into pieces.
Put them in information
Technology.


If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.


If they say they have tried
Different combinations, yet
Not a brick has
Been moved. Put them in sales.


If they have already left for
The day.
Put them in marketing.


If they are staring out of the
Window.
Put them on strategic
Planning.

And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each
Other and not a single brick
Has been
Moved.
Congratulate them and
put them
In top management.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Cricket rules- Australia

After watching the test match, someone has written some rules which have to be incorporated by ICC to give the other teams a perfect clarification

(1) Ricky Ponting
(THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED ) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE . As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE .

(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance) , the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be sought from the FOURTH UMPIRE . This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.

(3) While BATTING , AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY , this can be higher.

(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board .

(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RACISM only.

(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advice only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this rule is implemented.

(7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA . This is to ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.

(8) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE : If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES . This is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and create history in the game of CRICKET .

These rules will clarify better to the all the teams VISITING AUSTRALIA .

Sunday, January 06, 2008

lawyer

What's the definition of lawyer?

The larval form of a politician

Psychiatrist test

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

Friday, January 04, 2008

Wondered whats special about this foto?

This is a digitally altered image which shows the same person in different forms.. and u thought all chinese looked alike!!