Friday, November 30, 2007
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a Rs 10,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people like weight-lifters, wrestlers, body builders, etc had tried over time, but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a safari suit, and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man.
But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and 5-6 drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the Rs 10,000, and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living?
Are you a weight-lifter, or what?"
"No," replied the man.
"I work as a project manager in a software company !! "
Friday, November 23, 2007
Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."
Operator: "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"
Operator: "OK... you're... Mr. Singh and you're calling from
17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094 2366
your office 7645 2302 and your mobile is
98801 62566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator: "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."
Operator: "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator: "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator: "Try our Low Fat H okkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled " Hokkien Dishes"
from the National Library last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how
much will that cost?"
Operator: "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir.
The total is 409.00"
Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"
Operator: "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is
over the limit and you owe your bank Rs.3,30,720.00 since
October last year. That's not including the late payment charges
on your housing loan, Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw
Some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator: "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily
limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas; I'll have the cash ready.
How long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator: "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."
Operator: "According to the details in system, you own a
Scooter,...registration number 1123..."
Customer: " ????"
Operator: "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free
bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also
Operator: "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987
You were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"
Monday, November 19, 2007
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me grade "A" for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."
Friday, November 16, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
All companies are giving 2% salary increment to all employees every
month as per latest bill passed. The Finance minister has approved and it comes to immediate effect from 15th November 2007. The bill also mentions that all employees be provided 15 days of casual leave every year. See the photo for details
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "
"A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the girl) comes into play and break the legs of the boy. "
"The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance. "
"The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping. "
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Sunday, November 04, 2007
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