Sardarni asks her lover,"Santa dear, if we get engaged, will u give me a ring?""Sure" replies santa. "Whats ur phone no?"
Monday, April 30, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck.
The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line.""Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
One day Sita celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older twin brother, Ram, celebrated his birthday.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, jumper, gloves and balaclava. He is walking down a black street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off too but some how manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?
2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down".
The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.
5. If you are good, you will get all the work.
If you are really good, you will get out of it.
6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.
8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit.
No use being a damn fool about it.
12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
13. Following the rules will not get the job done.
14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".
16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.
18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.
19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
Bye and Take Care,
Monday, April 23, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Remember the college day's kadalai???—
He calls She
He: What the doing?
She: Ippo dhaan saaptu mudichen. Sir enna pannitu irukaaru?
He: Ippo dhaan 'Suttum vizhi sudare' paatu paathen Sun Music la
She: Nalla paatu.
(And then she hums the line 'mazhai azhagha veyil azhagha')
He: hey!!!!Nee ivlo nalla paaduviya
He: Hey. Innoru vaati paadaen
She: En room mates ellam thoongita. Ava bayandhuduva
He: Come on! Please!
She: Poada. I don't sing that well
He: It was really sweet. Please paaden
She: Enakku odd aa irukku da
He: Idhula ennama irukku. Nalla paadare.
She: Nee dhaan sollanum
He: Ippo paaduviya maatiya?
She: yaenda paduththare
He: Sigh! Ok
She: I don't have that great voice
She: Seri. Ivlo kaekkare. Unakaaga ore oru stanza paadaren
She: Endha paatu paadatum?
He: Hmmmm. 'un perai sonnale' from dum dum dum?
She: Nice song. But enakku lyrics gnabagam illai
He: Chinna chinna aasai?
She: Illai indha paate paadaren
(She clears her throat, hums a line and then)
She: Illai vendaam. Am feeling very shy!
He: Paadu she paadu. Un isai endra inba vellathil neendha odoadi vandha
ennai yemtradhe she. Paadu
She: Galatta panre paathiya
He: No no. Nee shy aa feel panre illaiya. Trying to make u cool
He: please paadaen
She: naaLaikku paadatumaaa?
He: Seri maa. Unakku eppadi thonaradho appadiye pannu
He: Good night
She: Good night
After a while She calls He
He: Illai ma. Match paathundu irundhen
She: Seri. Nee match paaru
He: Hey. Its ok. Pazhaya match dhaan.
She: Illai. Did u feel bad I didn't sing?
(Since it is a tricky question, He thinks for a while)
He: Bad appadinu solla maaten. But I want you to be comfortable first.
naaLaikku paadaren sonne illa. So me waiting
She sings 1 stanza from the song
He: Wow. Too good!
She: Poarum. I know how kevalam my voice is
He: Hey you really sing well.
She: Poada...Nee sollanume appadinu solre
He: Cha! Cha! Un voice nalla illaati naan ivlo kaekkave maaten
He: Nee ivLo nalla paaduve enakku theriyaadhu
She: Hmmm! Seri good night
He: Good night!
She: Take care
He: You too
She: Nejamaave en voice nalla irundadhaa
He: Nejamma! Ofcourse.
She: Nee poi solre
He: Not at all. You sing very well
She: Hmmm. Ennamo solre. Good night.
He: Good Night!!
So after successfully wishing she 'good night' for the umpteenth time,our He hangs up the phone
Coach Sehwag said that he is not worried bcoz he has backing of selectors, captain and board....and that they had won a close match against just 2 yrs ago.
Rahul Dravid, the coach of team said that Sachin should now consider retiring gracefully and let his son take over the captaincy.
Mahender Singh Dhoni broke Ajit Agarkar's record of most number of conecutive ducks in twenty 20
Saurav Ganguly, the coach of England feels that the boys need to control their emotions on the field.
The current leading man from Bollywood, Bret Lee advices MS Dhoni to take upacting as well.
Minnows beat Ireland in a close match...and thus they avanged their defeat in the 2007 WC against the then Minnows Ireland.
Inzamam Ul Haq, who was the captain of the losing team and now the present coach said in a press interview that
"Boys plays well...they try hard...Inshallah we win the World Cup"
The police arrested 8 people for voilence after England and NZ match...
Investigations revealed that these people were members of Dravid and Ganguly fan communities on Orkut which have 623241516 and 126542 members respectively.
The Indian cricket board led by president Rahul Gandhi has called for an emergency meeting to discuss future course of action ..former players like Yuvraj Singh, Md Kaif, WS Laxman and Kumble have been invited... coach Sehwag and Captain Tendulkar will present a report...
WS Laxman today created a new controversy by saying that he expected a written apology from Rahul Gandhi for including him in the category of former players....he said that he has improved his fielding and fitness and wants to play 2023 WC in in the world cup qualifier in the Asia -Pacific zone
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Friday, April 13, 2007
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?
Thursday, April 12, 2007
The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Santa Singh in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you... you have cancer and it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month." Santa Singh, shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room.
There he saw his son who had been waiting. Santa Singh said, "Puttar, we Surds celebrate when things are good and celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I
have cancer and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints." After three or four pints, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more beers.
They were eventually approached by some of Santa Singh's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating.
Santa Singh told them that the Surds celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end.
He told his friends "I've only got few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS." The friends gave Santa Singh their condolences and they had a couple more beers.
After his friends left, Santa Singh's son leaned over and whispered his confusion, "Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"
Santa Singh said, " I am dying from cancer, puttar. I just don't want any of them around your mother after I'm gone."
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Both of them bought a horse each.
"How will we know which is your & which is mine?" asked Zail."Easy" replied Jarnail. "I'll cut mine's tail, yours will be the one with tail"
This was heard by a few boys, they cut the other's tail too.
Next morning the confusion continued.
"Don't worry "retorted Jarnail.
"I'll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell."
The boys heard this also & cut the bell. The next day, Zail got frustrated & said "Okay now the last criterion, white will be yours & black will be mine
For those of you who have played street cricket or have
watched somebody playing .......... this might inspire some nostalgia
The Glossary of Terms :
Street Cricket, or 'theru krikayt' as it is popularly known, is also known for its amusing usage of terms, a few of which are given below.
This is the first ball bowled in the match and it is called trials. It is used to gauge the pace and bounce of the pitch and the ball by both batsman and the bowler.
Note: The batsman is not supposed to hit this ball, else the fielding will demand him to go and fetch the ball. It's a kind of tactic by the fielding team to not allow the batsman to free his arms.
All-reals.. first ball
This indicates the start of the match. Usually the batsman prefer to play "dokku".
he piece of wood to be used as the cricket bat. Need not confirm to geometrical trivialities.
The indian reference for an 'inning'. It is a well known fact that captains of street cricket teams always prefer to bat first irrespective of conditions.
An excpetional scenario wherein a batsman can bat twice if there are a shortage of players in the side.
A scenario where some stranger wants to bat for a couple of balls just for fun and then carry on with his work.
The act of a selfish batsman who purposely retains strike by taking a single of the last ball of the over to enjoy more "Gaaji"ing
Last Man Gaaji
Etymology partly English
A scenario where the last man who is not out with all wickets down gets to play "Gaaji" with no runner. It must be noted that, the fielding team can effect run outs on both the stumps when there is Last Man Gaaji
The unique and distinctive way of getting a batsman run out. When a batsman attempts a dangerous run, He could be run out by any of the fielders who just need to land their
feet on the stone at the bowlers end.
The most funny reference to a batsman being 'Retired Hurt'. [Derived from: A corruption of 'Hurt Retired']
Same as 'Adetail'. But sometimes used, when a batsman crosses a stipulated number of runs say 20 or bats for stipulated number of balls so that others can get a share of
The slang word used if a team unfairly cheats the other team while playing.
A situation where in a batsmen is taking a half stump guard thereby covering the complete stumps from the view of the bowler. Since street cricket typically do not have a LBW it
is very difficult to get a batsman out, if he covers the stump fully.
One pitch catch
A rule where a batsman gets out when a fielder catches it even after the ball pitches once. Typically street cricket batsmen do not go for lofted shots fearing to get out
One pitch one hand
A slight modification of the above rule where a fielder can use both hands if catching the ball full toss, but has to use only one hand, if the catch is one-pitch". Typically used to increase the chances of survival of batsman.
A great forefather of the now popular "super-sub" rule, this rule can be used if a Sothai (poor or bad) batsman's innings has to be played by a good batsman
Last ball of an over.
Since street cricket pitches are a few yards long, a ball, which is thrown with full pace and energy, is considered a no ball as it will be impossible to handle such pace with
When batsman/any fielder gets distracted from the game due to highly technical reasons like a vehicle crossing
the road when a ball is bowled (mostly happens when the pitch is perpendicular to the road)
Etymology Unknown- Same as 'Thuchees'
Due to lack of number of fielders, it is possible that people from batting team who are not actually doing batting have to field or do wicket keeping or for that matter even umpiring
When a umpire/batsman declares a wide ball, bowler uses this term to say that the ball was not a wide. Typically happens because umpires are from the batting teams.
A derogatory term for a defensive shot. Typically a batsman is discouraged from playing such shots because of the constraints of less number of overs and because everyone in the team needs to have a fair amount of gaaji
When a bowler has no hopes of completing his over with lots of wides and no balls he is substituted by a better bowler and the over is called a Baby over, Baby because the first bowler was very amateur
When a bowler bowls two continuous overs. Typically happens when captains fail to calculate correctly the number of overs in the absence of electronic score cards
When the bowler is unable to extract any meaningful bounce from the pitch. Sometimes used as a defensive tactic towards the deck.
(In the context of cricket) When a batsman is not able to make any contact with the ball using his bat.
Same as slogging in cricket towards the deck.
Appeal to Umpire for out(run out, catch, etc)
One Side Runs
When teams decide before hand that there are runs only on one side of the wicket due to lack of sufficient number of fielders
When a batsman hits a reasonable distance from which fetching the ball back is slightly difficult due to technical
difficulties already mentioned (like vehicle crossing a road, presence of a thorny bush etc), teams agree that a fixed number of runs are GRANTED (with a suffix "ji" - like one-ji, two-ji etc)
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
ANNIYAN : AEN DA NAETHU RUN ADIKALA?
DHONI : MURALI POATTA BALL SPIN AAGAVAE ILAINGA... ADHAN..
ANNIYAN : PCCH.... APDI SAADHARANA THAPPU MADHIRI EASY A THAPIKALAM NU NENAKADHA...
MODHAL MATCH LA DUCK ADICHA THAPPA?
DHONI : PERIYA THAPPILINGA...
ANNIYAN : MODHAL WORLD CUP LA MODHAL MATCH LA DUCK ADICHA....?
DHONI : IDHU THAPPU MADHIRI DHAN THERIYUDHU...
ANNIYAN : MODHAL WORLD CUP LA MUST-WIN MATCH LA DUCK ADICHA...?
DHONI : IDHU PERIYA THAPPU DHAN GA. ...
ANNIYAN (furious) : ADHA DHAN DA NEE SENJIRUKA.... UN ORUTHANAALA 100 KODI JANANGALODA KANAVU KALANJIDICHU DA..
DHONI : AENGA.... RUN ADIKANUM NU ONUM SATTAM ILAIYAE...?
ANNIYAN : OH!! SATTAM POATTA DHAN UNGALUKU RUN ADIKANUM, RECORD BREAK PANANUM NU ELAM THONUMA..?
IDHUKU ELAM EN SATTATHULA DHANDANA IRUKU DA...
NEE USIRUKKU KOODA BAYAPADA MAATE DA...ATHANAALE UN M..............
DHONI: SIR NAAN VENUMNA SEWAGA KOOTITU VAREN.....
ANNIYAN:AVANUKKU INTHA DHANDANAI TOTAL WASTE....
ANNIYAN MAKES DHONI MOTTAI THALAI....THEN HE ASKS DHONI WATS HIS NAME....HE REPLIES DHONI....
ANNIYAN : INIME NEE DHONI ILA ... VERUM SAANI
N ROLLS HIM OVER THE DRAINAGE....
ANNIYAN MOVES IN TO CHAPEL'S ROOM......
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Venue: Microsoft Corporation, New York , US
Some s/w engineers are seeing some photographs.
s/w engg 1 : What's that?
s/w engg 2 : Bob's photographs from India .
s/w engg 1 : Wow. Let me see. Which is this place?
s/w engg 3 : (Sees the photo) This is Mount Road , Chennai.
s/w engg 1 : Fundoo yaar! And what is this? He got Bajaj Pulsar also.
s/w engg 2 : Let me see (sees). This guy enjoys life maan..
s/w engg 3 : You know how much an Bajaj Pulsar costs? Nearly 60K..... Say it in dollars...
s/w engg 2: Oops. We can't dream of such a thing here.
s/w engg 1 : Let's go to India & try for a job.
Venue: Sun Microsystems, SanFrancisco , California , US
s/w engg 1: I'm with you man. My Visa is expected anytime. Soon I will fly to India
s/w engg 2 : Ohhh.... When is the party?
s/w engg 1: When I get it on hand.
s/w engg 2: Where will you be working?
s/w engg 1 : I'll be working in Thallakulam
s/w engg 2 : Oh! Thallakulam. Great yaar. Where it is...
s/w engg 1 : It is in Madurai .
s/w engg 3 : Fundoo place yaar. Nice climate Not like California .
You'll love the weather yaar. One of my friends is in Jaipur, Rajasthan... He says it's the ultimate place to live in. Cool maan.
s/w engg 2 : Who is the client yaar?
s/w engg 1: You know Madurai Municipal Corporation?
s/w engg 3 : Yeah. MMC. One of my friends is there in the Road Cleaning Division. Most challenging job yaar. People are working in the cutting edge of technology there.
s/w engg 1 : I'll be writing software for the accounts department of the GCU.
s/w engg 2: GCU? what it means...?
s/w engg 1 : that is Garbage Collecting Unit.
s/w engg 3 : Great yaar. That's what I like about that country.
You can get a job which requires all your skill. Not like here. See I'm writing software for the space shuttle remote control. I hate this.
s/w engg 1 : Don't worry guys. I'll give you my Hotmail id. You can send your resume to me and I'll forward it to the HRD.
[Everybody takes down his Hotmail id.]
Venue: IBM, New York , US (Conversation between a Male s/w engg. and Female s/w engg.)
Male : Hi!
Female: Hi. You know. I'm planning to settle in India soon.
Male : What??
Female : Yeah. My marriage will be here in America only. He is doing his PhD in Madurai Kamraj University and he's coming here for a month. His study will be over in 2 months. He's already got a job in Mannaar and company. We planned to settle in Madurai itself... I'm also planning to work there. Let's see...
Male: Good luck... dont forget us & US...
Venue: Intel Corp. US
s/w engg 1: Great news guys. Our George has got admission in the Melur Arts College in Melur, Madurai with scholarship for B.A History. A great new field yaar... All are excited...
George : Got my Visa yesterday. It's all finalized now.
s/w engg 2 : Congrats yaar. So you are out of this country.
s/w engg 1 : B.A in Histroy...ohh. ..man, enjoy your life there?
s/w engg 2 : Got full aid, eh?
George : Yeah. Got the UGC scholarship That will be 1200 Rupees per year.
s/w engg 1 : Great. Enjoy.
s/w engg 2 : (Thinking loud): 1200 Indian Rupees...! that means 1200 * 45 = 54,000 Dollars... with that amount I can buy a three bed-room flat & a Mercedes here...!!!
A foreigner working in Chennai as Software Engg gets a call from his Home ..
Father : What are you doing son ?
S/w Eng : Having breakfast ?
Father : what are you eating ?
S/w Eng: Cocunut Sauce and Rice Bread and roasted round ring ie (OUR Idli and Chutney and vada
Here you have a great chance to know about yourself like your character
etc. without spending any money. This test was devised by biggest
university of the world. It tells about your personality just by your
choice. So know yourself & enjoy
Here it is.....
Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle. You
pushed open the door, in front of you were 7 small beds to the right of
the hut,and another 7 small chairs surrounding a small round table. In
the middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit in
Which fruit will u choose?
Your choice reveals about u! Pls be very Honest to yourself.....
& Now scroll down for results:
Here are the results.
a. if you chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat
b. if you chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves to eat
c. if you chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to
d. if you chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat
e. if you chosen orange: that means you are person who loves to eat
Note: If u r hunting for me to punch me.....Well...I am busy hunting
for the person who sent me this!!!!!
1) Captain (P-001),
2) Vice Captain (P-002),
3) Coach (P-003) and
4) Team Members (P-004)
We are looking for Audience who have consistently watched all the world cup matches and who have scored over 65 runs in Room Cricket & Street Cricket
Experience in Football, Volley ball is an added advantage ….
Models, Actors (Advertisements) are most preferable…..
LKG & UKG Teachers are preferable for the post of coach.
1. Batting Test (Vs Bermuda ) (Candidate must score at least 50 runs )
2. Bowling/Fielding Test (Candidate should not bowl more than 3 wides /no balls in an Over)
3. HR Interview
(Candidates will be called upon for the selection process based on the Eligibility Criteria)
Send ur resumes with subject Name/Post/Max runs scored E.g. Dhoni/P-004/37 to firstname.lastname@example.org
Venue : YMCA Grounds , nandanam
Natesan Park , T.Nagar
1) “ Neengalum Batsmen Aagalam” by Munaf Patel
2) “Cricket in 21 days “ by ‘Ellam Therincha Egambaram’ Sidhu
3) “Kolaiyum Seivan Cricketer “ by Inzamam
4) “Ungal Veedai Padhugappadhu Eppadi “ by Dhoni
4) State Bank of Athur
5) Akka Mala
6) Anniyan Bank
7) Bank of Buruda
8) Kakran makrann Inc